Entry: "ramblings, mumbles in the dark and other useless yik-yaks..."
After spending the last several weeks attempting to string together a somewhat cohesive and intelligent update to my blog that would give you some sort of idea as to what's been grooving in my world I've given up and will now just free my mind of some odds and ends, cool?
First I'm happy to announce the birth of my newest granddaughter Ceanna Mishawn MCGirt, who arrived June 2nd, and was immediately put on the fast track to be spoiled rotten by yours truly. She is such a sweetie pie, I can't wait until she is able to walk and talk and say "Pop-Pop"! She joins her brother Isaiah and sister Mariah on that esteemed list as the three most special little folk in this universe who mean the world to me and thus can have their way with me whenever they want or need me. Of course there is not a thing their dad or mom can do about it...nuthing, nadda, zilch, so they may as well just resign themselves to the fact that Pop-Pop is their kids "safe-haven" if ya knows what I mean, eh? *wink*
Moving right along shall we? After a conversation with my dear friend Nikki where we touched briefly upon subjects such as relationships, friendships, and other issues dealing with the interaction between males and females, I'd like to ask a question that has been haunting me for quite some time now. Why is it that we are so hard to each other? Meaning, why is it that when I pass a black woman or sister or even another black man or brother on the street, why is it that we strive to go out of our way to avoid making eye contact or even avoid acknowledging or extending such simple and non-threatening greetings such as "hello", "good morning", "how are you?" or any other cordial greeting that is designed to show respect and a friendly nature about oneself, not as an attempt to strike up a relationship but merely as a polite way of showing respect when passing someone on the street? I know we all have been burned or taken advantage of by others at some point in our lives, but does this mean that "everyone" becomes suspect and thus warrants being ignored totally or even given a cold look away when someone extends a simple respectful greeting as they pass in the street? Can't we tell when someone is trying to "hit on us" or merely just being polite and showing respectfulness in a non-threatening way? I can see if someone was being persistent and trying to strike up a full-fledged conversation as you were heading somewhere or perhaps you just didn't feel like having a lengthy dialogue at the time or had things on your mind that you were dealing with, but come on now. I've stopped counting the number of times when I've extended a "good morning" or hello" as I've passed someone in the street on my way to work only to be given the blank look and silent treatment or glance away in return. It's not like I was like, "Damn Sugar, can I get that number?", or "Lawd have mercy, mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmm!", or doing any other number of Jerome from the show "Martin" impersonations! Are we really all that hard to each other now? Of course there are many who do return a pleasant response or who make the first attempt to extend a greeting themselves and they are the ones who restore my faith in mankind.
One other question may I? This one is more like me seeking advice from my extended fambily, k? I seem to be having the hardest time figuring out how to handle this issue. How do I deal with a situation where a so-called “friend” of mine, whom I always believed was a truthful and honest person until relatively recently, is finally exposed as the lying, deceiving person they really were and are? I considered myself pretty close to this person until recently when a “mutual friend” of ours shared some information with me that forced me to do some “behind the scenes” detective work in order to find out the truthfulness of what I had been told. Without going into the gravy details of what transpired, lets just say that the revelations revealed to me were based on facts and not hearsay or rumors, thus I can vouch for the validity of what I found out and yes what I had been told was proven to be correct. Some of what is involved is quite personal thus I have no desire to share the juicy tidbits here. What should be the correct course for me to take now? Seeing as I’m dealing with someone whom I thought was a close friend, should I confront them and let them know what I know and how I found out and seek some sort of explanation? As if that in itself would make things better…Or should I act as if I know nothing new and keep it to myself and basically let it all die of its own accord? Since we already have started to move away from each other as good friends over the past year, perhaps I should just let nature run its course and move on without stirring up the sands of time, no? I keep my trusted true friends until the end of time, but once you show me that you cannot be trusted or that you attempt to play me for a foo…well that’s another ball of wax to deal with then and I have no time for fakers.
In closing…Nakia, Mello, Mai, Nikki, Shannon, Noelle, Morena, Mechie, Rocky, Laverne, Frank, Sherri, Diana, Lee Lee, Missy, Nina, Cara, Amy, Michel, Dina, Donna, Phene, Larry, Little "T", Jackson, Nicole, Lakeisha, Alvera, Stewart, Katriece, Diana, Felicia, Meadow, Maria, Yolie, Michele, Jeri, Chrissy, yes indeed there are just far too many to name here, yet these are just a few of my own personal points of light, guiding me as I continue my journey on this winding road we call life. I shudder to think of what my world would be like without anyone of you as an integral part of it. For my extended network of dear friends all over the world I must say this...because of space limitations here on my blog if your name isn't listed here do not despair, for it surely is written safely in my heart where there is far more room and permanency.
Always with love and respect....always!
10 brothers and sisters helped me to understand.
on Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 @ 02:44 PM EST
Thought I was the only one who had a problem with folks not speaking. I've been down South for my entire adult life, so I'm use to speaking to people when we make eye-contact. What I don't like is folks staring me down, and not speaking. That's incredibly rude to me. I even have to break myself with that "Well SAY somethin' since you're all in my mouth" look.
By the way, congratulations Pop Pop! *gushy voice* pop pop... that's so cute.
on Wednesday, June 21st, 2006 @ 01:32 AM EST
Luke Cage said
Ohh man. A granddad. How cool is that man? congrats on that and mad blessings to the newborn. Got some pics of my little guy (nephew) that I will be posting in the near future. Always a pleasure as usual man...
Yepper Frank! I'm once...twice..three times a Pop-Pop! I'd love to post some pics of the precious one but since the parents do have some concerns about the internet being such a creepy place to post pictures of their baby I do have to understand their concerns...*sigh*. Perhaps one day they will give permission to let me show her off here, perhaps I'll show them how I'll use my artistic creativity to alleviate their concerns some, huh?
on Tuesday, June 20th, 2006 @ 09:04 PM EST
Just came by to send some love to one of my favorite peeps in the world..
Glad that new baby is bringing joy into your life....
Nothing like a grandbaby to share time with.......
Heheh love you again..
Chele! What a delight to see your post! Babies are indeed a special treasure! So very nice to hear from you again! Always with love!
on Monday, June 19th, 2006 @ 11:56 PM EST
congratulations on your new grandbaby!! babies are such a blessing, please give her two kisses on each cheek for me
I've always thought older black folx were friendlier than us younger ones, but then again, I guess it's the environment you interact. In an un-diverse environment, you find black folk sticking together. And in a pretty diverse environment, it's the other way around.
On the betrayal by your friend, it's hard to forget, but at least try to forgive.
I'll check in as often as I can....stay blessed! and i know you're having a perfect summer
Thanks C! I gave her 30 kisses for you, I'm using any reason I can to give that dollbaby some sugar! You're right about the environment when it's diverse versus not being that way...And after weighing the good advice of my peoples concerning the situation dealing with the issues of my "friend", I've pretty much decided to look forward and not backward and move past all the drama. After all, a brother is all about progression and not regression. I've already let go and moved on!
on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 @ 09:01 PM EST
*slapping self across forehead* How dare I forget to congratulate the Pop-Pop? Congrats, my friend. Babies have a way of breathing life into the darkest corners.
Thank you! I was singing to her the other day and I can tell she recognized 'cause she strained to see where the voice was coming from and started grinning! I love me some her!
on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 @ 08:56 PM EST
I feel so special receiving a special mention and all. LOL Greggy, you're good people and knowing you has been great. Let's keep the friendship flowing, shall we?
As for the friend, take it where your heart leads you, just don't roll around and get dirty with them. Umm, which I already know you won't. ;-)
You my friend have always been able to shed light into the darkness before me and help me to see what I should be seeing all along...don't worry about me rolling around and getting dirty with them, 'cause a brother don't have time for unclean things, knamean?
on Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 @ 05:27 PM EST
hmmm... for someone not quite having it together you sure are dropping a lot of 'deepness' there mr. g!:-)
one thing to ponder... what would be your reasoning for speaking truth to your friend? to help? to purge? to vent? to understand? our reasons should motivate our actions...
peace & love...
Hmmm..."for someone not quite having it together..."
I wonder what the Queen meant by that? LOL!
However, I dig the view you gave me concerning the reasons being the motivations behind our actions though...that is indeed a necessary p.o.v.
on Sunday, June 11th, 2006 @ 04:43 PM EST
Gregg, I thought it was an Austin thing -- black folks not speaking. I'm from Des Moines, and black folks ALWAYS speak to each other. So when I moved here, I was shocked that we simply don't. In fact, most times are just rude. Sorry thing is, I don't speak any more either because I got tired of getting strange looks, or no replies, period.
Brother Buck...it seems to be an "all-over America" thing. I think what it all boils down to is the fact that in this day and age of living in the "me generation", people have kind of retreated into a "me only mentality" that serves as some sort of fortress and/or buffer zone to prevent them from having to receive or make unwanted contact from those they did not choose themselves...
on Sunday, June 11th, 2006 @ 03:31 PM EST
Hey Greggy. I came over here because I didn't want you to fall off that desk, lol. Congrats on the new grandbaby. Blessings all around.
I have noticed that folks around my age generally do the head nod thing at least..but then again those are usually men. It's rare another woman that I dont know greets me but depending on the situation I do try to at least smile and acknowledge someone's presence. Maybe its a generational thing. Maybe it's a male/female thing. Maybe we are all so busy living we don't even give it a second thought. Maybe I don't know the answer and have said maybe enough, LOL.
About the information you discovered about your friend, seems to me it's always better to clear the air if only for your own piece of mind. I don't know about you but some things would just bug me until I blurted something out and usually at an inappropriate time, lol.
Ok, those have been my two cents Continued Blessings,
So nice to hear from you Honey! You know there might be some truth to that idea about it being a generational thing too. I have noticed that the older a person is, the more likely they are to offer or acknowledge a greeting when you walk past. Another thing I've noticed too is usually if it someone who is attractive or at least thinks they are all that, the more likely they are to ignore you or make an effort to glance away instead of acknowledging or offering a greeting themselves...thanks for your advice on my pressing issue!
on Sunday, June 11th, 2006 @ 01:50 PM EST
Congratulations on your newest family member! Isn't it wonderful to smell a new born baby? Nothing like it.Ceanna is a lucky little girl to have you for a grandpa.
You know if you were walking a dog, most everyone would say hello back. Just a fact, dogs warm people up. It also seems to be a city thing, pretty much everyone in the country nods and says good morning, etc. Perhaps the city energy is too strong for folks to break a smile through
I'm sorry you feel you have been let down. I personally would talk to your friend and give them a chance to explain. If only for your own sake. Wouldn't it be nice to clear the air? You know you will just stew about it otherwise. Best to shine the light on it and take away all the shadows.
Catch today and be happy,
...in the small matters trust the mind...in the large ones the heart... *Sigmund Freud
Meadow...the little quote you left at the end of your post pretty much sums it all up for me in a nutshell: "...in the small matters trust the mind...in the large ones the heart... *Sigmund Freud*"
Thanks for bringing it all into focus for me! Share a happy moment with me and make it last forever!