Artist Greggy...Musings and Yik-Yak

~Musings & Random Yik-Yak~
Monday, May 30th



First Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bassard! You've been playing golf!"
The Second Affair:
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"
The Third Affair:
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off, to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the biggest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's privates. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"
The Fourth Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
The Fifth Affair:
A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One Cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?" "Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the man. "4 cents," the bartender replied. "Four Cents?", exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."
The Sixth Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber.He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"
"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "let the poison work."

And with a hearty laugh, I'm out of here!
Hope everyone had a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend!

Artist Greggy on 05.30.05 @ 03:13 PM EST


Wednesday, May 25th

Times a changin....

I remember when I was much younger I was fascinated with the concept of flying saucers and alien beings. Of course way back then I was fascinated by just about anything that seemed out-of-this-worldish at the time. Things like space travel, other people on other planets, time travel, those kinds of things. I still am to a certain degree, and that is only because my adult mind has clarified and analyzed the world over the years and given me a more balanced perspective as to what is real and what is not real, what is possible and what is impossible. Now as I've grown a bit older and have started paying much more detailed attention to scientific advances that have taken place recently and also things that are being brought to fruition now, especially on the medical/scientific frontier, my views on what seemed impossible years ago has changed. In my lifetime already I have witnessed seemingly impossible or out-of-this worldish gadgets that were only fantasized about in my early days come to reality. Things like plasma televisons...10(+) mega pixel digital cameras...DVD camera phones...Playstations...I-Pods...the list goes on and on. These are things most of the younger generation today takes for granted, but when I was a youngie, scientists were still dreaming of those things. Now every Tom, Dick and Dr. Harry are cloning animals and human embryos left and right! Lord help us now, forgive these feeble human minds as they attempt to play your part, for they know not what they do...I say that because I also know that every good invention eventually will be used with evil intentions! I can only dream of what's coming in the next 5-10 years...that is if we all don't let technology over-run us like they did in "I Robot". :o)
Artist Greggy on 05.25.05 @ 06:46 AM EST


Tuesday, May 17th

What if?

Being the kind of brother who will occasionally ponder a serious thought or two, if only to prove to myself that the noggin is not yet polluted with a vast emptiness, I happened to ruminate on this thought...what if institutional slavery never happened to us as a people on the scale that it did when it did, cause we all know it did. Institutional slavery as it was practiced here in America back in the day. Think about that for a moment. What if black people (meaning anyone who was enslaved and oppressed, ok?) were never forced to come to America to man the cotton plantations? What if Eli Whitney never invented the cotton gin, which revolutionized the cotton industry and made it a hugely profitable cash crop, which in turn made it necessary for the plantation owners to find cheap (slave) labor to plant and harvest the cotton, etc., etc. I wonder what course history would have taken if black people were pretty much left alone in Africa and other parts of the world back then instead of being forced into servitude here in America? I wonder what course in history America would have taken without the benefit of the slave labor that built the economic powerhouses of that day, which in turn enabled America’s rapid rise as a global superpower? What if America had done the moral thing then and used paid laborers from all immigrants instead of flipping for the evilness of using slaves? As much as people try to minimize the fact that this country was built on the backs of slaves, they will never be able to deny that sobering truth. I just sometimes wonder about where this country would be today if slavery never happened, if black people had just been allowed to immigrate here to start a new life just like everyone else if they so chose. If institutionalized slavery had never happened, and black folk had been left to their own designs to live their lives unhindered just as every other culture was doing at the time the whole balance of the entire world would have been different today no doubt. Perhaps the vast majority of them would have chosen to settle else where, or maybe they would have been just as prolific as America’s early “settlers”. I also wonder about what kind of dynamic the fabric of America would have taken had this country chosen to follow the word of the Constitution from the beginning…meaning…”ALL men are created equal” means ALL men…not “just those who look like us”.
Artist Greggy on 05.17.05 @ 10:39 PM EST


Friday, May 13th

Thanks for the B-Day wishes!!

Thank you very much for the berfday, birfday, burfday, b-day, and whatever other dialect was used to drop some luv on my day! I had a great time, even though I went to work, I still had a good day Thursday. The crew that I hang with at work had a lil "surprise" for me in the morning, bless their hearts, they are the greatest bunch to work with for sure. After work, I had a nice chill out evening, my lovely wife Cheryl brought me my favorite dish, Imperial Stuffed Chicken Breast (I think it's boneless breast of chicken stuffed with lump imperial crab meat) from this seafood joint since I didn't want to go out for dinner and I devoured it like the caveman that I am sometimes...LOL. I played around with a new Playstation2 game for a few hours and basically just enjoyed the family ambience, plus after reading your comments on my last post makes me appreciate my web family even more! So in my opinion I had a great berfday!..or was that birfday?...burfday?

p.s....I myself am the most horrible crudball when it comes to keeping up with birthdays and events...please accept my apologies if I have missed anyone's special day, for it surely was/is not intentional! Happy Everyday to Everybody! (covers all the bases) :o)
Have a splendid weekend!

Artist Greggy on 05.13.05 @ 07:23 PM EST


Thursday, May 12th

This day in history...

Since today is my birthday, here's a few random tidbits of what happened this day, May the 12th back in the day some...

1831- The first indicted bank robber in the U.S., Edward Smith, was sentenced to five years hard labor on the rock pile at Sing Sing Prison.

1888- Charles Sherrill of the Yale track team became the first runner to use the crouching start for a fast break in a foot race.

1950- The American Bowling Congress abolished its white males-only membership restriction after 34 years.

1955- Sam Jones of the Chicago Cubs pitched a no-hitter against the Pittsburgh Pirates, winning 4-0. Jones became the first black pitcher to throw a major-league no-hitter.

1957- A.J. Foyt earned his first auto racing victory in Kansas City, Missouri. He went on to become a four-time winner of the Indianapolis 500 -- in 1961, 1964, 1967 and 1977.

1970- Ernie Banks of the Chicago Cubs smacked home run number 500. He would get 12 more before his great career as first baseman (and shortstop) with the Cubbies came to a close in 1971.

1971- The Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger married Bianca Perez Morena de Macias. Mick couldn’t remember her whole name very well, so she became known as Bianca the world over.

1977- The Eagles earned a gold record for the hit, Hotel California. The award was the second of three gold record singles for the group. The other million sellers were New Kid in Town and Heartache Tonight. Two number one songs by The Eagles -- Best of My Love and One of These Nights -- didn’t quite make the million-seller mark.

1978- From the "And You Thought We Had This Straightened Out By Now" file: The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced that it would alternate men’s and women’s names in the naming of hurricanes. It was seen as an attempt at fair play. Hurricanes had been named for women for years, until NOAA succumbed to pressure from women’s groups who were demanding that Atlantic storms be given unisex names. “It’s not fair that women should get all the attention for causing damage and destruction,” one women’s activist claimed. David, Allen, Hugo, Mitch and Andrew agreed.

1985- Lionel Richie received an honorary Doctor of Music degree from Tuskegee Institute in Alabama (his alma mater). Richie had put 14 hits on the pop charts in the 1980s, including one platinum smash, Endless Love (with Diana Ross) and four gold records (Truly, All Night Long, Hello and Say You, Say Me). All but one song (Se La) of the 14 charted made it to the top ten.

1812 - Edward Lear
illustrator, poet, champion of the limerick

1820 - Florence Nightingale
health activist, nurse: promoted the nursing profession, contributed to modern nursing procedures, founded Nightingale Training School for Nurses; author: Notes on Nursing

1907 - Katharine Hepburn
Academy Award-winning Actress: Morning Glory [1932-33], Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner [1967], The Lion in Winter [1968], On Golden Pond [1981]; Adam’s Rib, Pat and Mike, The African Queen, The Rainmaker, Rooster Cogburn, Suddenly Last Summer, Mary of Scotland, Love Affair

1914 - Howard K. (Kingsbury) Smith
journalist, TV anchorman: ABC News

1921 - (Otis W.) Joe Maphis
country singer with wife, Rose Lee: entertainer: Hometown Jamboree, Town Hall Party, Hee Haw; songwriter: Dim Lights Thick Smoke and Loud, Loud Music

1922 - Bob Goldham
hockey: NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings

1925 - Yogi (Lawrence Peter) Berra
Baseball Hall of Famer: catcher: NY Yankees [World Series: 1947, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1956, 1957, 1958, 1960, 1961, 1962, 1963/all-star: 1948, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1952, 1953, 1954, 1955, 1956, 1957, 1958, 1959, 1960, 1961, 1962], NY Mets; manager: NY Yankees, NY Mets

1928 - Burt Bacharach
Oscar-winning composer [w/ Hal David]: Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head [1969]; Tony award for score for Promises, Promises; What the World Needs Now, Walk on By, Close to You, I Say a Little Prayer, Do You Know the Way to San Jose; Oscar-winning team w/wife, Carol Bayer Sager: Arthur’s Theme [1981]; That’s What Friends are For

1935 - John Bucyk
Hockey Hall of Famer: NHL: Detroit Red Wings, Boston Bruins [Lady Byng Trophy winner: 1971]

1936 - Tom Snyder
broadcast journalist: WNBC, KNBC; host: The Late Show with Tom Snyder, Tomorrow, Contact, The Tom Snyder Radio Show

1936 - Frank Stella
abstract artist, sculptor, painter: Empress of India, Guadalupe Island

1937 - George Carlin
comedian: The George Carlin Show, Award Theater, 1st host of Saturday Night Live, The Kraft Summer Music Hall, Wonderful W-I-N-O, Seven Dirty Words, actor: Prince of Tides, That Girl, Car Wash, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

1943 - David Walker
musician: guitar: group: Gary Lewis & The Playboys: This Diamond Ring, Everybody Loves a Clown, She's Just My Style

1948 - Steve Winwood
singer: groups: Blind Faith; Traffic; Spencer Davis Group: Gimme Some Lovin’; solo: While You See a Chance; Don’t You Know What the Night Can Do, Higher Love, The Finer Things, Roll with It

1956 - Gregory Lynn Broadnax
artist: also known as Artist Greggy; currently living life to the fullest and striving to survive in an ever-increasingly confusing world while trying to maintain. Not famous at this point in my life, but thats quite alright with me too, God is not through with me yet.

1958 - Kim Greist
actress: Homeward Bound series, Throw Momma from the Train, Brazil, Chicago Hope

1961 - Billy Duffy
musician: guitar: group: The Cult: Spiritwalker, Resurrection Joe, She Sells Security

1962 - Emilio Estevez
actor: Breakfast Club, Repo Man, Young Guns, Stakeout, The Mighty Ducks, Men at Work, Freejack; Martin Sheen’s son, Charlie’s brother, Paula Abdul’s ex

1966 - Stephen Baldwin
actor: Fled, The Usual Suspects, Under the Hula Moon, Threesome, The Great American Sex Scandal, Born on the Fourth of July, Home Boy, The Young Riders, The Prodigious Hickey, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; brother of actors Alec, William and Daniel Baldwin

1969 - Kim Fields
actress: The Facts of Life, Living Single, Baby, I’m Back

Have a great day today!

Artist Greggy on 05.12.05 @ 07:19 AM EST


Monday, May 9th

God is good!

I enjoyed a splendid Mothers Day weekend with my Mom and sister in Pennsylvania and as an added blessing, my niece Shannon did indeed have her baby girl this past weekend while I was up there! It's almost as if she was waiting on me to come back up the way before making her entrance into the world..LOL Well sort of...actually as I was driving up Saturday morning around 11:30 about halfway through my drive I get a cell message saying she (Shannon) had her baby at 10:33 a.m. I am delighted that both her and the little angel are doing great...and I'm especially grateful that your boy "dint" have to get ugly, since apparently the doctors and nurses all knew their roles and responsibilities...Plus I regard it as a Sign from the Divine that it is my solemn duty and responsibilty as her uncle to spoil the living daylights out of that girl since she was born on a Saturday morning in May...hmmm, so was I!!! Plus it was the day before Mother's Day when she was born...hmmm, when I was born back in 1956 Mothers Day was May 13th, I was born May 12th!!! That is surely a sign from the heavens of what I'm supposed to do and I accept that duty without quarrel!!! Consider the girl spoilt rotten already, ya heard? :o)

Heres a little hello there from the Precious One

Maija Camille Boyd
9 pounds 5 and a half ounces, 21 and a half inches long
born May 7th at 10:33 a.m.
Shannon and Sean proud parents.

All in all another splendid trip back home indeed!

Artist Greggy on 05.09.05 @ 10:15 PM EST


Saturday, May 7th

Happy Weekend!

I’ll always love my momma, 'cause she's my baby girl, you only get one you only get one yeahhhhh, ooooooooooo I'm talking 'bout mommmmaaaa, my sweet ole momma.….she’s one of a kind, you got yours and I got mine…

I'm heading back up the road again this weekend, going back home to see my Mom and family. The lovely wife, my sister-in-law, along with a few cousins, and assorted couples are taking a long-planned “Mothers Day weekend over night theatre-dinner-bus trip” to Atlantic City. Although I could/should have went with her since there probably will be at least a few other couples along, I decided to visit my mother this weekend instead. I’m sure wifey and the gang will have a grand time regardless. Maybe Lady Luck will give them all a lovely Mothers day treat while they are there too! All's good though, we'll have our “fun in the sun” when we take a nice vacation together later on somewhere sweet this summer. We’re both off Monday anyway so we’ll celebrate Mothers day together then.

On another note, hopefully my niece will finally have her baby this weekend while I am up there in Pennsylvania..they have given that poor girl so many due dates it's ridiculous. My sister tells me if she doesn't go by Monday they'll induce labor. I hope whatever they do to induce labor doesn't hurt or harm momma or child, I’d hate to have to act niggrish on Mothers Day weekend, feel me?...Plus I'm going to spend some more real time with my Mom again, actually this will be the first Mother's Day in I don't know how long that I was able to be with her in person instead of sending the usual card and the expected telephone call! So with that my brothers and my sisters, have a great Mothers Day weekend! God Bless all of our Mothers, Amen!

Artist Greggy on 05.07.05 @ 12:44 AM EST


Tuesday, May 3rd

Running away with me...

I wasn't going to blog about that Georgia runaway bride deal but after listening to a surprising number of people speaking out in her defense, I must chip in my two shekels now...I find it astounding to hear some people say that she shouldn't be charged with any crimes since it was basically a plea for help and she was having issues...So! I have issues every frinking day, but you don't see me hopping on the nearest bus fleeing to some strange city saying an interracial couple kidnapped me?? Hell yes she should be charged with something. Do you realize how much money they spent looking for her tail? Here she was chilling out in another state probably watching the whole episode on the hotel T.V. while folk were crawling through sewers and dog poop looking for her. Hell yes she should be charged! If I was one of those volunteers who took off a few days work or spent some serious time out in the wild looking for her, I would be pissed to the max. Imagine just how much damage she caused to all the other folk in the future who really will get kidnapped and need help but because of her selfish butt a lot of people won't be so willing to believe there was even a kidnapping and won't look as hard or as long. I am not denying that the girl needs serious help, but that doesn't change the facts of the matter. I can't help but believe that since she's apparently some sort of "All-American" girl next door living the good life, law enforcement wants to take it easy with her...girl done went and gave folk all kinds of ideas now...lemme see, I don't feel like going to work today, can't handle the "stress"...maybe I should run on down to the bus station and get a ticket outta here, anywhere away from here for a few days, or at least until my loot run out, then I'll call home and say a van full of crack smoking Swedish nuns kidnapped me, braided my hair so I wouldn't get recognized, threw me in the van, drove me to Canada, and then released me days later after I proved I wasn't Lionel Ritchie...think it'll work?...LOL

Y'all be good...very, very good!

Artist Greggy on 05.03.05 @ 07:13 AM EST


[Click here to go back in time...]

Search entries:




May 2005

Valid XHTML 1.0!

Powered By Greymatter