Monday, September 19th

getting ready, preparing...

I am going to step away again my friends, for a moment or two again so that I can prepare for what lies ahead...Prepare for what you ask? I really don't know what exactly, except to say that my inner core is warning me to prepare for battle. This is not a physical conflict, nor is it a personal beef against anyone or anything, but it is more like an increasing spiritual battle that I face. Over the last several years of my life, especially since I started turning more and more to God to define the direction of my character, I have started paying closer attention to the forces and events that were shaping my reality in the world as I saw it. I have always believed in the awesome Holiness of God, in Jesus as the Son of God born of the Virgin Mary, in Angels and Demons, Satan as The Great Deceiver, The Bible, Heaven and Hell, The Book of Revelations...Over the last several years of my life however, I've been waging an intense personal struggle against a multitude of personal demons that were attempting to convince me to waver in my beliefs here or there, they were trying to get me to slip up a few times, to take a break from it all and just let loose and cut up...They especially have been active lately when it seems that I would more than likely be at the most vulnerable point in my life right about now. And believe me when I tell you God is real and so is Satan and his minions. I thereby publicly proclaim that I am a much stronger man than perhaps Satan thought, and although I know his work is never through and him and his will always try to trip me, I got news for him...I am an Overcomer. And by that I mean, that it is through my faith in God, and through my resolve to do the right thing that I publicly rebuke your sorry tail forever and ever and shall Overcome your pathetic attempts to claim me as one of yours, you heard??? Step back and stay far behind me always, let a brother continue on his journey would you? I know this is going to piss him (Satan) off terribly so I am putting on the Armour of God.

So now I must heed my inner core when it tells me that I must stop here for a brief moment and take time to prepare myself spiritually for what lies ahead, place things into place that will strengthen me in the long term. Never in my life have I felt more confident and determined than I do now in spite of Lord knows what lies ahead. The events of my life especially over the last two months have helped to make clearer to me so many things that I was taking for granted as just "stuff" happening in the world. Some of those wild dreams I was having awhile ago now seem so relevant to me. Now I realize how much of a fight we all are in every day. And since I have now noticed an incredible spike in Satans wily attempts to deceive me, I must take a moment or two to deal with it...

And with that boys and girls I now take a preparation break for a brief moment! I'll be back in a little bit, I promise!
Artist Greggy on 09.19.05 @ 02:01 PM EST
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Saturday, September 10th

Forever my love...

Sooner or later you all had to know I was going to go there...
I don't want to make anyone feel sad or morbid, and understand I am smiling as I write this, but my spirit has been urging me to write this...Although I know that Cheryl (my precious wife who God recently called home in late July) can not physically read this, perhaps her spirit will know what I am trying to articulate now...you see, because of my hospitalization and medical issues after the accident, I never had a chance to say good-bye to her in person. Please bear with me and allow me to reach out to her just one more time...and also, please don't cry, but rejoice as I do for her spirit, for she is at peace now in Heaven. (smile)

"Baby, I never got the chance to personally say good-bye or "I love You" at least one more time before you were called home to Heaven and during your Homegoing Service. Sure we had made sure to always kiss and say I love you every morning, night and throughout the day and mean it from the heart, but the sudden events of that day took away from both of us our ability to kiss just one more time, for both of us to look deep into each others eyes and say “I Love You, Poo!" ...just one more time. Plus, I wanted so badly to even be able to come to your Homegoing service but my injuries were such that prevented me from leaving the hospital until several days afterwards. I am so very grateful that our loved ones and friends made sure you were remembered for the loving heart you had and gave so effortlessly. I can honestly say that it was you who taught me how to love unconditionally and I mean an honest and true love deep from the heart. I can so clearly remember our early years...(smile). When we were younger and just starting out, (I was 26, you were 23) we loved each other with a passion that often morphed into the usual early relationship arguments and disagreements that young couples usually have. But you showed me how to take those moments and build upon them, to learn from our disagreements and use the lessons learned for the next time. Of course I was clueless as to this thing called love back then, all I knew was that when I first started being with you, it made me feel all funny whenever I was around you, and I ended up trying to act extra polite and extra intelligent whenever you were around...(smile) When I was younger I think I was afraid to admit to being in love, perhaps that was the way I was brought up, to appear to be tough, unemotional...perhaps. Over the many years that we were together it was you who showed me how to open up your heart and give it unconditionally to the one you loved. Sure I tried to act like I knew, but it was you who showed me how to do it by the way you did it yourself...to me. I am so thankful that we both took the time to always say, "I'm sorry" and really mean it after either one of us or sometimes the both of us took a little "trip around the block" (giggling). Over the years though, we took this thing we had and grew it into something we both trusted was going to last forever, our love...and it will Baby. You loved me unconditionally, through our good times and our bad times, through our disagreements and our tribulations, just as I hope I have been able to do for you. Even when I lost my mind on occasion and acted the fool, you were always there for us, showing me the way...You agreed with me when you thought I was right and in no uncertain tone you also let me know when you thought I had lost my mind...(smile). You made me feel special and loved, important and intelligent, wanted and needed. Because of you baby, because of your patience and unconditional love for me, I grew into the man I am today. I will never ever stop loving you Poo.... Never. You will always be a part of me, because you taught me about how to love someone forever. I will always love you Poo, Always.... But even now I am working so that we will see each other again in His time. (big smile) Good-bye sweetheart, I will always love you unconditionally and forevermore. Greg"

Artist Greggy on 09.10.05 @ 08:14 AM EST
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Thursday, September 1st

Thankful for the little things...

Hello everyone...
Slowly but surely and by the grace of God I am continuing on my long road to recovery. I am ecstatic to finally notice that I am slowly gaining back the weight that I lost while I was hospitalized. You see, I was always a brother of slim build and construction. Before my accident I averaged around 155 to 160 lbs on any given day depending on how much I had been eating during the week. Although I had a voracious appetite and could throw down some serious grub when I was hungry , the doctors always attributed my low weight to a very active blood metabolism that "burned" up any intake before it had a chance to settle on my body. I guess in that respect I should have considered my self lucky, eh? In any event after my accident and after they (the doctors) had cut me open and "re-organized" my insides I discovered that not only had I lost about 22 lbs while I was in the hospital, but after returning home my appetite and ability to grub like before had been seriously compromised. Thank God over the past few weeks I am happy to announce that my "weight" is finally returning and also my appetite has returned to my normal levels which of course makes me happy to no end. When I first was released from the hospital, I was despairing over my lost weight and was incorrectly assuming that I was going to be doomed to a life of being even thinner than I was before. Thank God I was wrong in those assumptions and now I am focusing on gaining back not only the weight that I lost but also will try to gain an additional 20 lbs to help fill out my 6 ft frame a little better. I am so thankful to just be able to sit here and write this and will never ever forget how blessed I was to be able to survive what I went through, especially after viewing for the first time yesterday the photos of my car after the accident and the horrendous damage that I escaped from, critically injured, but alive...Yes God is good indeed!
In closing please allow me to once again thank all my brothers and sisters out there who prayed for me and my daughters recovery, I in return have asked God to abundantly bless everyone of you in return.

Also, please do not forget the horible tragedy still unfolding in the Gulf states after Hurricane Katrina reminded us of the power and awesomeness of "Mother Nature". Please pray for those who lost everything and those who still have no idea how much they have suffered. We all have to realize how blessed we are to have what we have, to have houses to go to, to be able to sleep in a dry bed at night, to be able to have jobs to go to, to know where your family is when you lay your head down at night....the list is literally endless. Please pray for those who are truly suffering as a result of this tragedy of biblical proportions....

Until the next time, much love and peace to all of you...
Artist Greggy on 09.01.05 @ 08:49 AM EST
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